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DE WITT'S ACTING- PLAYS. 



(Number 304.) 




SPARKING. 

IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE. 

Founded on L'Enticelle of Edouard Paileron, 

By HENRY LLEWELLYN WILLIAMS, 

Author of "The Bachelor's Box" "Carmen" {drama), "Fifth 
Wheel" " Fernande," "Articled," " The Drinking 
Ben" (L'Assommor), "Black Chap from White- 
chapel," "Darkey Sleep-Walker " etc., etc. 



together with 

A description of the Costumes— Synopsis of the Piece— Cast of the Characters 

—Entrances and Exits— Relative Positions of the Performers on 

the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Business. 




Jpete-S*rk t 

DE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

Ho. 33 Rose Street. 




READY 



er* A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATAL06UE OF OE WITT'S ACTIN9 
PLAYS, AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing 
Plots, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informs 
mailed free and post-paid. 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. 



t^P m Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the foUowing 
^i(o/Db Witt's Acting Plats 1 ' are very suitable for representation in small Amateur Thea- 
&9i and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extrinsic aid from complicated scenery or , , 
expensive costumes. They have attained tlieir deserved popularity by their droll situations, 
excellent plots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that they are the 
most perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in the United States 
or Europe, whether as regards purity of the text, accuracy and fulness of stage directions and 
scenery, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. 

*** In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which indicate 
the number of the piece in "De Witt's Listu*- Acting Plats." 

fl^T* Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — 15 

cents each. 



jgf The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of 
Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. male ; 
F. female. 



No. 

75. 
114. 
167. 

93. 

40. 

89. 
192. 
166. 

41. 
141. 

67. 

36. 
160. 

70. 
179. 

35. 

24. 
1. 

69. 
175. 

55. 

bo\ 

65. 

68. 

76. 
149. 
121. 
107. 
152. 

52. 
148. 

113. 



16. 
53. 
123. 
7L 

itf. 



Adrienne, drama, 3 acts 7 

Anything for a Change, comedy, 1 3 
Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts. ... 7 

Area Belle (The), farce, 1 act 3 

Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce. 1 act. . 3 
Game of Cards (A), comedietta, 1 3 
Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch, 1 act. 6 

Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 

Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 

Birthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act. . 7 

Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 

Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 

Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

Breach of Promise,, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
Broken-Hearted Club, comedietta, 1 4 

Cabman, No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 

Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 

Caught by the Cuff, farce, 1 act 4 

Cast upon the World, drama, 5acts.l0 
Catharine Howard, historical play, 

3 acts . 12 

Charming pair, farce, 1 act. 4 

Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 6 

Chevalier de St. George, drama, 3 9 
Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act. 3 

Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 

Comical Countess, farce, 1 act 3 

Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act 2 

Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act... 1 

Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Cut off with a Shilling, comedietta, 

1 act 2 

Cyrill's Success, comedy, 5 acts — 10 
Captain of the Watch (The), come- 
dietta, 1 act 4 

Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 

Dandelion's Dodges, farce, 1 act. . . . 4 

David Gar rick, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Dearest Mamma, comedietta, 1 act, 4 

Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts 6 

Deborah (Leah) drama, 3 acts 7 

Deerfoot, farce, 1 act 5 

Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acta. . 9 



F-. 


No. 


3 


21. 


3 


186. 


3 


47. 


2 


13). 


2 


200. 


.3 


103. 


1 


9. 


2 




3 


128. 


3 


101. 


3 


99. 


5 


145. 


6 


102. 


1 


88. 


2 


74. 


8 


53. 


2 


73. 


3 


30. 


1 




5 


181. 




28. 


5 


151. 


3 


8. 


5 


180. 


3 


19. 


2 


60. 


7 


187. 


1 


174. 


1 


64. 


1 


190. 


1 


191. 




197. 


1 


18. 


4 






116. 


2 




4 


129. 


2 


159. 


3 


122. 


3 


177. 


5 


100. 


6 


139. 


1 


17. 


3 


86. 


4 


72. 



M. 

Dreams, drama, 5 acts 6 

Duchess de la Valliere, play, 5 acts. . 6 

Easy Shining, farce, 1 act 5 

Everybody's Friend, comedy, 3 acts. 6 

Estranged, an operetta, 1 act 2 

Faust and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts, 9 
Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 

interlude, 1 act 4 

Female Detective, drama, 3 acts.... 11 

Fernande, drama, 3 acts 11 

Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts 10 

First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 

Foiled, drama. 4 acts r. . 9 

Founded on Facts, farce, 1 act. . . . 4 

Garrick Fever, farce, 1 act 7 

Gertrude's Money Box, farce, 1 act. 4 
Golden Fetter (Fettered), drama, 3 11 
Goose with the Golden Eggs, farce, v 

1 act 5 

Go to Putney, farce, 1 act 4 

Happy Pair, comedietta, 1 act 1 

Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 

Henry Dunbar, drama, 4 acts 10 

Henry the Fifth, historical play, 5 38 

He's a Lunatic, farce, 1 act 3 

Hidden Hand, drama, 4 acts 5 

His Own Enemy, farce, 1 act. 4 

Home, comedy, 3 acts 4 

Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act 1 

Hunting the Slipper, farce, 1 act 4 

High C, comedietta, 1 act 4 

Hunchback (The), play, 5 acts 14 

If I Had a Thousand a Year, farce, 

1 act 4 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, original Irish ■ 

stew, 1 act 3 

In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act 2 

In the Wrong House, farce, 1 act. . . 4 

Isabella Orsini, drama, 4 acts 11 

I Shall Invite the Major, conaedy, 1 4 

.Jack Long, drama, 2 acts 9 

Joy is Dangerous, comedy, 2 acts. . . 3 
Kind to a Fault, comedy, 2 acts. . . . 6 

Lady of Lyons, play, 5 acts 12 

Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act 4 



SPARKING. 



A COMEDIETTA, 



IN ONE ACT AND ONE SCENE. 



FOUNDED ON L'ENTICELLE OF EDOUARD PAILERON. 



By HENRY LLEWELLYN WILLIAMS, 

Author of " The Bachelor's Box," " Carmen (drama), "Fifth Wheel, 
"Fernande," "Article 47," "The Drinking Den " (L'Assommor), 
' 'Black Chap from WhitecJ/apcl," "Darkey Sleep- 
Walker, " etc., etc. 






TOGETHER WITH 
A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES— CAST OF THE CHARACTERS — EN- 
TRANCES AND EXITS — RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORM- 
ERS ON THE STAGE, AND TnE WHOLE OF THE STAGE 
BUSINESS. 










NEW YORK : 

BE WITT, PUBLISHER, 

No. 33 Rose Street. 

Copyright, 18S2, by A. T. B. De Witt. 



g SPARKING. SfrO tkbt ) 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. 'JA 

i 

Theatre Francaise, 
Paris, 13th May, 1879. 
Will Robbins, f ormerly of the Navy, captain of a yacht, age 

25, juvenile lead Delaunay. 

Mrs. M'Granite, a young widow, comedy lead Mdlle. Croizette. 

Mdlle. Iteay, her adopted daughter, age 18, soubrette Mdlle. Samary. 



TIME IN PLAYING— THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES. 



SCENERY. 

The garden of a villa at Newport, in 3g. Trellis-work and grapevine at back ; 
stoop of house L. 1 e., with practicable door in the flat ; large opening in trellis 
at back, showing seaview on the backing flat ; sky sinks at back ; tree sinks 1st 
and 2d grooves. Garden furniture. 



Backing — Seaview. 
| Open. | | Open. | | Open. | 2g. 



2G. 

Steps. | | | Door. 
Table and chairs. - — 



-l<:.. 



o o 

o • o 

oooo ooooo ooo oooo oo ooo o 

Cloth down to represent garden plots and gravel paths, Bird-cages and flow- 
er-baskets. Sun effect, changing to new moon at finale. 



COSTUMES — Present day, seaside negligee. 



PROPERTIES. 

Flowers, needlework, written paper, almonds for Millie, cigar in case for Rob- 
bins, bills in pocketbook for same, books, paper and pencil. In Millie's pock- 
ets, chewing gum, nuts, lace, neck-ribbon, shells, end of pickle, pencils, letter, 
photographs, etc. ; grapes on vine to be picked : almonds to eat ; stick up R. 



TMP92-007480 



SPARKING. 



SYNOPSIS. 

The scene of this play is laid in Newport — time, the present. Will Bobbins, 
late of the U. S. Navy, but more recently commanding a yacht, cruising about 
Newport, falls desperately in love with Millie Beay, an adopted daughter of 
Mrs. M'Granite, a rich young widow. In a brilliant yet touching dialogue 
Will tells the widow of his love for Millie, and asks her advice and assistance. 
The widow, after teasing the young officer as to his numerous former escapades, 
at last relents, and tells him that he had best make a declaration of his love to 
the young lady. But he informs her that somehow he never can get her in the 
mood to listen to anything serious. While they are talking Millie is heard, 
off, laughing heartily, and urging her pet dog to bite somebody. The next 
moment she bounces into the room, and though she is mildly chided by her 
adoptive mother, she cannot refrain from often bursting out into ha ha's, as 
she recounts how she had been setting her dog on Mr. Suit, the family lawyer. 
Millie then proceeds with inimitable naivete to give an account of her visit to 
a poor widow, as the almoner for her mother, interspersing the pathetic details 
with irresistibly funny remarks about the jam-smeared faces of the children. 
Then she tells that Mr. Suit has made her a tender— or as she puts it a legal- 
tender of his hand. Will tries hard to bring her to an engagement— yard-arm- 
and-yard-arm. But the saucy little puss will understand nothing of a serious 
nature. The young sailor, really touched by the sufferings of the poor widow, 
offers Millie twenty dollars to give her. But the girl tells him to go himself 
and give the money, as she thinks " honest people always want to feel tbe hand 
that relieves them." Then calling Snap, her little dog, she saj-s, "Oh, I'll go 
and be naughty out of this." Bobbins and Mrs. M'Granite follow in a scene cf 
exquisite fooling on the lady's part, but of real sadness on the part of the gentle- 
man. Millie enters and Mrs. M'Granite goes off, to give Robblns a chance to 
wco the young hoyden, and a very pleasing and sprightly war of words follows. 
Bobbins reads some original verses, and the maiden quizzes him dreadfully. 
Bobbins attempts to explain the marriage ceremony — but tries in vain to malic 
Millie serious for five minutes. But in a following scene Bobbins speaks so 
eloquently and truthfully that the young flirt's heart is touched, and with the 
assistance of Mrs. M'Granite, she is at length led a willing captive into 
matrimony. 

In summing up, one may truly say, there is " hardly a better, more compact, 
more easily acted," yet assuredly effective piece even in our list — though that 
comprises the master-pieces of the foreign and home stage. 



SF^RKiisra. 



SCENE. — Mrs. M'Granite's villa at Newport, in od grooves. A 
summer afternoon. Music. 

Discover Captain Will Robbins walking about ett back with a pencil 
and piece of paper on a book, as if composing. Mrs. M'Granite 
seated r. front at table at needlework. She stops, looks at Robbins, 
smiles. 

Mrs. M'Granite. Will ! Will ! 

Rorbins (stops). Did you speak, auntie ? 

Mrs. M'G. What are you pencilling there ; a sonnet to your mis- 
tress' eyebrows ? Lost labor, boy ! India ink does all that pencilling 
now-a days! You might just as well have stayed ou board Mr. Hart- 
well's yacht; for I do not call this behavior paying me a visit — still 
less paying me respect. 

Rob. (comes foncard). Shall I beg } T our pardon on my bended 
knees ? 

Mrs. M'G. No; I'll let Cupid's bended bow avenge me. With my 
bow and arrow I shot, said the sparrow. Your heart is pierced 
again. I am not " keeping count while you eat," but I think this is 
the third time this year, and it's only July! 

Rob. Why should I not own it ? I am in love, (fiercely) I love — 
as I never loved before ! 

Mrs. M'G. Love is the only human folly that is not everlasting, as 
our family lawyer and philosopher says. Expect no surprise in this 
quarter. To the best of my ken, this makes a baker's dozen of times 
that you have loved as you never loved before ! 

Rob. You can't hear a fellow without mocking ! 

Mrs. M'G. I do not mock, nephew. A woman always hears love 
stories with fresh interest — and a great deal more interestedly when 
she is a widow, a rustic, old 

Rob. Old ! (reproachfully) Oh ! (touches her hair) The widow's 
might rests in her glorious mane! 

Mrs. M'G. I use the Mermaid Magic Brush, goose. But tell me 
all about it, like a good boj r . Only — tell what a lady may listen to. 
None of your dreadful tales of the black women in Senegambia! 

Rob. Don't be alarmed; I mean marriage this time! 

Mrs. M'G. Then it's some other poor woman who must be alarmed. 
Still you do not tranquillize me. I remember that Wagnerian opera 
singer 

Rob. A woman who painted. She had not seen her own face 
these ten years ! 

Mrs. M'G. And the uncertain Mademoiselle Bellemoqueuse? 

Rob. That French adventuress ! Why, such a creature 



SPARKING. 5 

Mrs. M'G. Don't scandalize women, sir; leave that to their own 
sex. Still, I must say, you sailors seem always to be on the best 
terms with the worst people ! 

Hob. (loftily, sadly). You will be sorry to have coupled the young 
lady I prefer with such trash. 

Mrs. M'G. You appear in earnest ! 

Rob. I have a great mind to settle down, that's all. 

Mrs. M'G. It takes a great mind to do that ! And so Master Willie 
Robbins is going to come to anchor — at last? at last? 

Rob. I should have come to anchor at first, at first — only that I 
was afraid of you. 

Mrs. M'G. Dear me ! 

Rob. No, no, you mistake; for you are the best, the nicest — the — 
but my uncle proposed whilst I was at sea, and when I came back 
you were married. 

Mrs. M'G. Well, one cannot very well send cake and cards to 
youths careering iu the Antarctic Circle. 

Rob. You were so chil— hem — so, so, so calm — that I called you 
mentally, an icicle— a sympathetic icicle. 

Mrs. M'G. But still an icicle ! Ever so much obliged. 

Rob. But you set an example to your sex — a very set example ! 
01), I am not going to make such a mistake again. 

Mrs. M'G. As taking me for an icicle ? 

Rob. As letting mystlf be cut out. 

Mrs. M'G. Y T ou will be lucky then. The modern young lady is 
terribly fond of — the other fellows ! 

Rob. You know she isn't i (sits, r. c.) 

Mrs. M'G. Oh, do I know her ? 

Rob. So much so that I need your consent to the match 1 

Mrs. M'G. The brimstone, am I ? 

Rob. Had I said that 

Mrs. M'G. You should have suffered ! 

Rob. I speak of Miss Reay 

Mrs. M'G. Millie ! my little Millie ? 

Rob. Yes, our little Millie ! that rosy, wild, unkempt, curly, fresh 
and restless romp — I love her, and I want her as my wife I 

Mrs. M'G. She's not out of her teens ! (rises.) 

Rob. And I am out of my wits for her. (rises) She is eighteen — I 
am five-and-a-score— not so uneven that. 

Mrs. M'G. She has not a penny ! 

Rob. No more have I — not a rap to buy the engagement ring ! 

Mrs. M'G. Y^our uncle run down her father's smack in a New- 
foundland fog, and thought it incumbent upon him to bring up the 
family. Millie never figured in our set. 

Rob. You educated her though, and whatever her German, her 
English is tripping — and you are so knowing ! 

Mrs. M'G. I can't stab, but I can sharpen the daggers of others, 
eh ? But do not jest about serious things. 

Rob. I ! Y^ou persist in seeing in me a sort of prankish powder- 
monkey — you believe I cut down the sleeping watch in their ham- 
mocks, and put pepper in the seapie. I am not a boy now, auntie. 

Mrs. M'G. Beware your previous fate! 

Rob. A rival ! She does not love any one ! There's no one comes 
heie, except Mr. Suit, who seems never to have done with settling 
your husband's estate, (Mrs, M'Granite laugh?) Does he come to 
see her ? 



8 SPARKING. 

Millie {pouting). When you call me {imitating) Mildred, you don't 
love me. 

Mrs. M'G. I always do, and you presume upon it, {repulses her) 
Will you please behave ? 

Millie. Let your little Millie kiss you once— half a once— on\j 
there— on the regular pet place — Baby's own particular reservation, 
you know ! {kisses her.) 

Mrs. M'G. Have done ! 

Millie, But you don't see the joke of it — a shrimp like me mar- 
ried to a lawyer ! Would I not be a picture on the judge's bench ! 
like a poodle ! Would you have me sacrifice myself to life in an 
inkstand — in a forest of steel pens ? Oh, you laughed ! you laugh ! 
you do, do, do ! !She do— did laugh, didn't she, Mr. Robbins ? Well, 
there, I forgot my errand to the old woman 

Mrs. M'G. Never mind your report now. 

Millie. Oh, Mr. Willie don't care — he knows how good you are, 
like everybody else. That's why you are loved so generally. Oh, 
you shan't gag me — I seldom get a chance to talk, but when I do 
how I run on ! 

Rob. Run on about the old woman then. 

Millie. Hypocrite! you'd rather it was a young woman. Well, 
poor old Sally is immensely happy. She is coining across to thank 
you herself to-morrow. She was all alone with her little urchin — 
sea-urchin, I call him, — and it was so sad in a room without as much 
furniture as would cover my hand — and already she had put herself 
and Tomnvy in mourning ! 1 wore black once myself, didn't I, my 
dear auntie-mamma? {kisses Mrs. M'Graxite) The boy is quite a 
genuine little love ! as red as a cherry, and shining like a crabapple, 
with puffy red curls, and long cat's eyes, and such a dirty face with 
the jam !— a real decided sweet boy. She let me nurse him while 
she wrote a letter for you — and didn't he kick though ! — all legs and 
arms, like a starfish, (searches her pockets) No, these are pictures the 
boy gave me to color for him, and — some nuts, I thought I had eaten 
'em all — my embroidery and — oh, that gum ! — my ribbon (puts on 
neck-ribbon to get it out of the way) and a piece of (doubtful) pickle ! 
(eats gherkin) Where did I put that letter, eh ? No ! my keys ! ha, 
ha ! my photo — no, {change to sad mice) a photograph of her husband 
— he's much too fine a man to be downed at sea. (gives photograph to 
Robbnis) You never have been drowned at sea ! 

Rob. Not precisely. 

Millie. She is almost as tall, and has splendid eyes — now where 
is that letter? Ah! no, it's my little glass, (looks 'in mirror) How 
red I am. Now, Sally looks so*lovely pale ! I wish— but slate pen- 
cils and vinegar will never make me thin. Oh, hurrah ! (pulls out 
letter.) 

Mrs. M'G. Let me have it. (reads letter l. c.) 

Bob. Hadn't we better charter a special ship for your goods ? 
Millie, this Bally woman is very poor, eh ? (l. c.) 

Miillie. I should think she was ! her husband was blown out to 
sea a-going off to the lighthouse, and but for auntie she and that 
dear baby might have starved. 

Rob. Let me have a hand in such good work — to a shipmate, too ! 

Millie (refuses money). Twenty dollars ! that's too much to trust 
to me, and you had belter take it yourself. Honest people want to 
feel the hand that relieves them ; and charity is cold but for the 
warm hand, eh, auntie ? You go,. and see the baby, and kiss him, 



SPARKING. 9 

though he will be smeared with jam— he's so funny ! I wish /had 
a comic baby like that ! 

Mrs. M'G. What are you saying, child ? 

Millie. Snubbed again ! I never can open my mouth without 
putting my foot in it. 

Rob. I don't wonder — it is so small. 

Millie. But I say everything that slips to the lip of my tongue. 
I suppose I am not wise— really, sometimes I do think I am a trifle 
loony J — ha, ha, ha ! (dog barks) That's Snap crying forme! Isn't 
it strange— dogs like little girls, and cats like old women ! (dog barks) 
What's the matter, sir ? Don't be afraid, Willie ; I'll have him tied 
up. How he does go on ; perhaps he's mad ! (comic shudder) It's 
Mr. Suit, who has driven us both cranky ! 

Mrs.M'G Mildred! 

Millie. Wrong again ! Oh, I'll go and be naughty out of this ! 
I'm coming, Snap ! hold him, Snap ! good dog ! (stops, it. u. e.) Good 
dog — but naughty little mistress, eh ? [Exit. 

(Lights down, cloud passing over.) 

Ron. (enthusiastic). The sun gleam on the billow! a silver bell in 
the cup of a lily! and you say I cannot love that precious pet! I do 
—I do ! 

Mrs. M'G. As you never loved before? we know all about that. 

Rob. But she must love me 

Mrs. M'G. That's nothing to you— a Sea Caesar — who comes, is 
seen and conquers! 

Rob. Laugh away! but you will not laugh away my deep-set 
passion! oh that I were pitted against a -woman, then I would not 
be in a fog' You don't believe me? 

Mrs. M'G. Not often. 

Rob. Because you nursed me, you think I still am brainsick? 
But look what I have to deal with— a child— infantile — a baby, who 
sees, and hears, and suspects nothing! strategy is as lost upon her 
as logarithms on a Capo Cod fisherman! There isn't any chance 
with a giil till she has had the spark! 

Mrs M'G. No spark! how about Mr. Suit! and 3-ou, and maybe 
others! she is brilliant with sparks like a porcupine that has had a 
roll in a nest of glow-worms! 

Rob. The spark 1 mean is — did you ever see a torpedo? 

Mrs. M'G. A little lump of paper that a naughty boy puts 
under the chair leg, so that when one sits down, it goes off with a 
bang ! 

Rob. (laughs.) Not that kind; larger; man's destroyer, not a boy's 
plaything ! To look at, only a box with a pinch of powder, a wire, 
and a disk of guncotton! but send a spark along the wire, up flares 
the powder, and the disk explodes ! The spark— the tiny, tiny spark, 
is the soul, the life, the devil of the thing! and up flics a sfyp in 
smithereens — brass is battered, steel plate split, and a thousand brave 
men are ripped asunder! Reflections apart, aunt, dear, woman is a 
torpedo, cold metal, hard glass, and senseless wood, till some day 
comes along admiratiou, vanity, pity, hate, poetry, or nature — and 
love is the spark! Heigho! little ilillie hasn't the spark! 

Mrs. M'G. Send it her, boy! lay down the wire! 

Rob. Think I've not tried ? But there are some women who will 
never flare up. For instance, you. 

Mrs. M'G. Stick to your subject, sir! 

Roc. My subject? far more my tyrant! "The Millie of love 



10 SPARKING. 

grinds slowly, but she grinds exceeding small." She has reduced 
me to a skeleton! she lias reduced me to — a poet ! 

Mrs. M'G. Ply the battery! 

Rob. With what ? I can't make her hate me! she would not hate 
the bee that stung her ! Generosity is no go— you saw her tnub me 
and my twenty dollars! 

Mrs. M'G. Maybe she'll pity you— when she reads your verses! 

Rob. Instead of poking lun at me— at lines you never heard, you 
would be nicer to help me find a way, (huskily) there is one that 
never fails 

Mrs. M'G. Did you test it with me? 

Rob. Oh, you were the exception ! you will lend me a hand 
though ? 

Mrs. M'G. To the last button of my gloves ! 

Rob. If not in kindness to me, to prevent old Suit winning her! 

Mrs. M'G. Eh? why should I care whom Mr. Suit, who is not so 
old a gentleman, marries? 

Rob. How you catch me up ! You wouldn't further such a 
union. Millie in his house! the very image of a squirrel in a deed- 
box ! If you hold back so, you will make me think you have private 
- reasons to save Millie, (rises.) 

Mrs. M'G. Millie can take care of herself ! 

Rob. Still you will help me 

Mrs. M'G. I told you, yes. 'Sh ! 

Eater Millie, l. 1 e. 

Millie. Mr. Hartwell, auntie! 

Rob. What a nuisance ! I suppose he wants me for a cruise. 

Millie. JSo, sir; he wants aunt. I asked him what for, and he 
chucked me a chin-chopper for my curiosity. I wish all the old 
gentlemen would not etiuck me under the chin ! 

Mrs. M'G. I'll go. 

Rob. Don't be long ! (aside to Mrs. M'Grakite.) 

Mrs. M'G. (laughing). She frightens you! my ferocious sea^ion, 
don't look so sheepish before that lamb ! Explode the poetry on 
her! [Exit, l. 1 e. 

Millie comes down steps, picks some grapes and eats them with 
almonds, up c. 

Rob. (aside). I am a blockhead, that's a fact. 

Millie (aside). What's the matter with Willie? (comes down r. c.) 
, Rob. (crossing along front to l). A block ! (beats his forehead.) 

Millie (aside). Oh ! he's like a man in a play ! (follows Turn to and 
fro to Uudy his face, amused.) 

Rob. She is far from imagining — (nearly runs against her r. c.) 
Ah ! I beg pardon! did I make you start ? 

Millie. No! I never jump — even at a great fright ! 

Rob. I wish you did, and I were the great fright ! 

Millie. Oh! isn't that a joke? (pauses, laughs) AVere you taking 
off those men on the stage? I like them. I wish I had been born 
on actress ! Do you like them ? (holding out harai toith nuts.) 

Rob. Actors ? not much 1 I don't care for artificial things. Give 
mc Nature! 



SPARKING. 11 

Millie. Then have some nuts; the grapes look nice and red— but 
they are sour. 

Rob. Confoundedly sour; (siglu) and the nuts are hard. Mind 
your pretty teeth, Miss Reay. 

Millie. Miss Reay ! why don't you call me plain Millie? 

KOB. Plain Millie? because I think you pretty Millie ! beautifulest 
Millie! charmingest Mill — {lakes herhaiid.) 

MrLLiE {her hand is full of nutshells). Mind! they're the shells! 

Rob. Oh, hollow hearts ! {throws shells aside.) 

Millie {sits at table and cracks nuts with scissors). What has Mr. 
Hart well come to tell auntie? I haven't been up to any mischief in the 
town, that's a comfort. 

Rob. Wants her to go sailing on the yacht, {sighs) I shall have to 
go to sea again. 

Millie. I thought you bloated— I mean doated on the sea? 

Rob. Once — now I have a superior affection. 

Millie. I fear he comes on behalf of Mr. Suit ; I don't want to go 
for a cruise — I would rather go to New York and see the plays. 
Ugh I {nut eating) such a bad one ! they are not what they are 
cracked up to be. 

Bob. Plays ? 

Millie. These nuts ! Do you like them ? 

Rob. Nuts ? no, thank ye again. 

Millie. I said, plays, {laughs) ha, ha, ha ! but I am always talk- 
ing of a half a dozen things at once, so I get into such a tangle some- 
times. What was I saying ? Oh, I know ! the plays ! we went to 
the theatre, and saw a lovely piece — full of the most magnificent 
talk — not what folks use now, but poetry. There was a big man 
who rubbed his eyes and said, {imitates) " If you have sheds, prepare 
to tear them now ! " Exquisite ! 

Rob. Eh ? eh ? " Tf you have tears, prepare to shed them now — " 

Millie {calmly). That sounds more like it; and then there was a 
black-eyed, hook-nose girl— she was the Jew's daughter, and so her 
nose was correct — in a long white dress — a lovely train, worth twelve 
dollars a yard, I'm sure — and a splendid young man — they do get 
such splendid young men on the stage, don't they, Mr. Willie ? and 
he spoke some poetry. It beats any brass band: "Moon — stnrs — 
bank — turn, turn, la — still inquiring for the young-eyed cherubim — " 
that's all I know. 

Rob. The Merchant of Venice ? 

Millie {striking nut with scissors).' You've hit it ! {her nut flies 
aica i/) and I've missed it. Right! The Merchant of Venice ! "still 
inquiring for — " oh, Where's my nut ? 

Rob. 'So glad you like poetry, for I have written some for 3^ou. 

Millie. Out of a play ? 

Rob. No ! out of my head. 

Millie. Yours — for me ? {goes to him, pulls a little stool to his feet 
and situ, cuddling up to him) This is real kind of you. {in a rough 
voice) Let's have it. 

Rob. {begins). "As sleeps the lily 'neath " — (stops) The bard would 
esteem it a favor if the cracking of nuts was suspended during the 
verses ! 

Millie. I beg you' pardon ! that was the last one, and {looking up 
into his face) the last one of anything is always the best. 

Rob. The last love, at least, is always the best ! Listen, (recites. 
Ilusic, tremolo, pianissimo.) 



13 SPARKING. 

As sleeps the lily 'neath the wave, 

Its slender stalk and green leaf hidden, 
So Love may dwell below your grave 

Or merry thoughts, till upward bidden. 
Thus far, the mirror of your face, 

80 spotless, smooth and lustrous purely, 
Remains without a sign or trace 

Of how much feeling you have surely. 
But, some fair eve I'll view the lake, 

Till then so placid, all uncover ;— 
With graceful bauds ils snowy cup 

Thelily'll tender to her lover ! 

Millie (absently). "With graceful hands," (hides her hands) and I 
hate my nails; " its snowy cup—" They are pretty, but not near so 
sweet as the otber. (rises.) 

Rob. (vexed). Shakespeare's? Oh, I don't call him a rival ! he 
was a fine w T riter. 

Millie. Was he ? I never saw any of his writing — it has all been 
printed I have seen. 

Rob. (<txi(h). The poetic torpedo did not gooff well, (aloud) Won't 
you keep them ? they were meant for you. (goes n.) 

Millik. Oh, you fib ! 

Rob. (returns). Who's a fib ? why ? 

Millie. I may be a madcap, but I am not a fool. How can you 
call me a mirror ? am I shiny ? am I placid ? have I a slender stalk? 
(walks about.) 

Rob. Mentally ; morally. 

Millie. Am I snowy and green ? It is aunt that is fair and 
serene ! The lines would fit her better. 

Rob. (to her). Millie, how then would you like to be portrayed ? 
(tenderly.) 

Millie. Ha, ha, ha ! oh, wasn't your voice then like Mr. Suit's ? 

Rob. Old Suit's voice ! like mine ! I don't care so much for your 
similes, either ! 

Millie. AVho's tender touchwood, now ! Mr. Suit is the best man 
in the world — for his age. 

Rob. He should not even be my best man. 

Millie. At your wadding ? (goes to him) You are funny again ; I 
am not afraid of funny folks ! Tell me about your wedding ! — in 
prose — not in verses. 

Rob. (aside). What a darling ! (aloud) Don't you know, little one, 
that there cannot be a wedding without two persons ? 

Millie. Three? (pretended gravity.) 

Rob. The parson ? 

Millie. No, that would be four. See here ! (takes his hand and 
opeiit the fingers) The bridegroom is won, eh ? the bride is won, eh ? 
that's one and one— or two ! and then the parson makes them one — 
and two is three ! 

Rob. Nonsense^child. 

Millie. Child ! I tell you I am no child ! still I don't know how 
you can tell whether one is in love or not. 

Rob. (aside). Isn't site the sweetest? (aloud) Why, suppose I were 
to ask you for a kiss, what would you answer ? 

Millie. Take it ! unless 

Rob. Ah, unless ? 



SPARKING. f 13 

Millie. Unless I had a pin in my mouth at the time — for auntie 
is always scolding me for that bad practice. 

Hob. The only time anything sharp is on your rosy lips ! 

Millie. Or pointed ! 

Kob. You prove there, that you don't love. 
"' Millie. I don't see that ! {pouting.) 

lion. Why, when a body is not in love, a smack of the lips or the 
hand is all one — for no one in the world is singled out ! You are as 
careless as the gunner who levels his piece at a town, indifferent 
whether he knocks off a steeple or a flagpole into a cocked hat ! 

Millie. That's me ! but when one is~in love ? 

Rob. Then the laugh at everybody and everything dies away ! 
tears come, and one hugs the pet dog in the corner, j|nd goes half 
crazy at being so miserable when so happy ! A little girl is uneasy, 
anxious, teased ; but very glad to live and love. She seems to be play- 
ing hide-and-seek with some one after her whom she has never seen, 
and don't know where to run to avoid ! when he calls you wish to 
run to him, but you keep away ; and the little girl would hate the 
stranger who annoys her all day, and troubles her dreams, only for 
liking him so much ! that's Master Love. 

Millie (sits on settee under tree, k.). Do tell ! 

Rob. (leans over back of settee, r. of her). He is never so much 
present as when afar — on the sea, perhaps — and the white sail on the 
sealine is like his hankerchief waving her "God bless my little 
lassie ! " Those around never speak often enough of him — never 
praise him too much — and yet, she never can speak too ill of him — 
perhaps, to prevent others seeing how much she worships him — 
perhaps, to deceive herself. 

Millie (absently). Go on, please, go on ! (babyishly.) 

Rob. (sits beside her). For love has united their — laid a wire clown 
between them, on which thousands of love birds perch, and their 
notes thrill to her — he links hands, hearts, thoughts, eyes 

Millie (quietly, humorously). Lynx eyes are not pretty. 

Rob. You never heard him speak what he is going to say, but you 
guess what's coming ! then you blush — your heart stands still to let 
his overtake it ! when he grasps your hand (takes her hand) your 
whole being seems to tingle through it to him — road smooth and 
warm — and he must take the kiss he prayed for — because you 
wouldn't grant it him, not for a thousand worlds — (about to kiss her.) 

Millie (starts up). No ! 

Rob. (disappointed). Ah ! (delighted) the spark ! 

Millie (laughs frankly). Ha, ha ! Then I have been in love ! oh, 
oh, oh ! 

Rob. You have ? 

Millie. Bather ! at school — at boarding school ! all our class were 
like that — w T e loved the mu^ic master — poor Signor Dolcecarlo ! 
when he spoke to us, we trembled — when he took our hands to show 
us the fingering, we reddened like a stove ! and he was such an ugly 
man, with a beard like a birch broom. 

Rob. That couldn't be. 

Millie. It was, it was — pomade wouldn't smooth it down ! we 
tried ! 

Rob. I mean, that could not be love. < 

Millie. But it was — the genuine article ! how well I remember — 
as he had no hair — being so bald you could have darned stockings on 
his dear old pate — we cut up his hats, and wore the felt in our lockets 
— ha, ha, ha ! 



14 SPARKING. 

Rob. You tiresome bundle of thorns, so much better than a pound 
of rose leaves without them, do listen to me ! 
Millie, oh ! here's auniie ! 
Rob. (aside). She laughs too much and heartily ! it's a stern chase ! 

(R.) 

Millie (l. aside, smiling, but perplexed). Willie loves me. 
Enter Mrs. M'Granite, l. 1 e. 

Mrs. M'G. (aside). So far apart ? what's come of the children ? 
How Millie rushes at conclusions ! Mr, Suit wanted her to plead for 
him with me ! 

Millie. And did Mr. Suit send Mr. Hartwell, aunt ? 

Mrs. M'G. You had better go ask him ! 

Millie. So I will. I am not afraid — (aside) now, he loves me ! 
(murmurs) " The lily's tender to her lover — " [Exit, l. 1 e. 

Mrs. M'G. Well, "Will ! (sits, it. c.) 

Rob. She laughs too much. You were right. She might nmuse 
a musty old lawyer, she wouldn't make a man happy— only away. 

Mrs. M'G. Insensible to poetry— even to j T our poelry ? 

Rob. A rock— a rock crystal — pure, white, cold— and condemnably 
hard. 

Mrs. M'G. So you give up the courtship ? " My own, my guiding 
'tar ! " ha, ha ! 

Rob. Less than ever ! My blood is up, my pride in it ! I'll plant 
my flag on the trim little bow, or die for it ! 

MrsT M'G. Dye some agreeable color, then ! You are very pale at 
present. 

Rob. As going nlone did not succeed, I will obtain your help for 
the next attack. Four eyes are better than two. 

Mrs. M'G. At least that should furnish you with four-sight ! 

Rob. A woman like you 

Mrs. M'G. And a poet like you 

Rob. I have an idea ! 

Mrs. M'G. Another ! so soon ? you are quite a dealer in notions 
to-day. 

Rob. Aunt, do be serious with we for once. To induce that 
simple little daisy to love me, I must try the old, old plan. Its suc- 
cess depends on you. 

Mrs. M'G. Well, you have faith enough ! am I to propose to her? 

Rob. Hear my scheme. 

Mrs. M'G. Never mind scheming. You want her to wife— so I 
will offer her your hand. That h; clear enough. 

Rob. She'll tell me to clear out ! 

Mrs. M'G. She will accept, 

Rob. She hasn't the spark ! she will refuse, my respected aunt. 
How you keep smiling ! Docs love make man such a comical sight? 

Mrs. M'G. Did you ever watch dancers and not hear the music ? 
That's how you appear. 

Rob. You are passionless ! Oh, if you had but the spark ! 

Mrs. M'G. Be off to another torpedo. 

Rob. Only if you fail, we'll try my plan 

Mrs. M'G. And try her patience ! Go away, sir, for ten minuter 

Rob. Ten ages! (goes up, liglits a cigar, mutters:) "So far ihe 
mirror of her face — " (puff, puff) "no trace !" (puff) I've burnt 
my ringers ! [Exit, R. u. e., smoking. 



SPARKING. 15 

Mrs. M'G. "What a gone case ! poor youth ! not that it matters to 
me— only I should not like to be married before him. Is that you, 
Millie ? so I am to be a matchmaker, am . 1 ? I hope my matches 
will burn steadily, then ! 

Enter Millie, l. 1 e. 

Millte. I thought }-ou called, auntie ? {aside) Willie is not here. 
{aloud) Oh, what do you think Mr. Hartwell said ? That I had 
made a mistake ; that Mr. Suit wasn't in love with me. 

Mrs. M'G. He did not say he was. And you gave him no time to 
name the party. 

Millie. That was Snap— he interrupted ; dogs don't know that 
is rude. Mr. Suit wanted me to plead his suit—ha, ha ! that's all. 

Mrs. M'G. Then you wouldn't have accepted him ? 

Millie. I do not know. 

Mrs. M'G. You are generally straightforward. Don't you care to 
marry ? 

Millie (rustically). Mebbe I dew, mebbo I don't. 

Mrs. M'G. One can't get yes or no from you ! Come here, and 
look at me — look me in the eyes. 

Millir. Yas, jedge ! ha, ha, ha ! 

Mrs. M'G, Somebody else wants to marry you. 

Millie. Mr. Hartwell ? or another lawyer ? 

Mrs. M'G. Mr. Will Robbins, by courtesy captain. 

Millie. Willie ? 

Mrs. M'G. Yes, he will ! that's stopped your laughing. 

Millie {tremulous) But you are laughing at me ! 

Mrs. M'G. He charged me to plead for him— you frighten him so ! 
is \ our silence consent ?' 

Millie (aside). His wife ! I never hoped so high as that ? 

Mrs. M'G. You tremble like a leaf ! He is not the husband I 
would wish you or any other woman. I doubt he can love any 
body — I know, by his uncle's example, what sailors are, " One foot 
on shore, one foot on sea, to one thing constant never" 

Millie. But you are not athing, auntie ! Willie is brave. 

Mrs. M'G. Because he jumped in the surf and pulled out a bather? 
Snap has done as much. 

Millie. But Snap didn't put his hand in his pocket and give the 
crowd twenty dollars to carry the girl to a hotel, and fix her up to 
go home bv the steamboat. 

Mrs. M'G. Because Snap does not wear pockets — unless you have 
rigged him up so — for I never know any rive minutes what freak 
you are up to ! But to return lo our puppy— Willie's not handsome— 
rather plain — which somewhat cuts against his boasts of love adven- 
tures! but — here we are, Mrs. Robbins— dear little round robin ! Why 
do you stare at me so ! 

Millie. My dear mamma ! (hides face in Mrs. M'G.'s arms.) 

Mrs. M'G. I don't think you gave the envoy a formal answer. 

Millie. You know bow truly I love yon 

Mrs. M'G. Am I to tell the undeserving wretch he is happy ? 

Millie. Give me my old place to kiss, mamma ! (they battle play- 
fully.) 

Mrs. M'G. You accept him ? (she lets herself be kissed.) 

Millie. No ! because it's a sin to wed when one does not love. 

Mrs. M'G. But you do love him ? 



16 SPARKING. 

Millie. He is not in earnest. 

Mrs. M'G. He never is — but he is more less unearnest now than 
ever. 

Millie. And then, as you say, he is not handsome. He — he — looks 
so strange. 

Mrs. M'G. You will make out he squints, next ! The apples of 
his eyes are pairs ! 

Millie. Ha, ha ! my dear mother, the only one I have known, don't 
be cross with me. How can any one like me — so unsteady, wild, 
reckless, funny ! can I look grand at the head of a table ? A Port- 
Admiral's lady with my turn up nose ! 

Mrs. M'G. No, no, no ! 

Millie. But the nose will turn up — a leetle— rin spite of your noes / 
and red cheeks 

Mrs. M'G. Rosy ! 

Millie. But I do not love him ! there ! (stamps on a nutshell.) 

Mrs. M'G. You say so— but you act as if you did. 

Millie. Won't little Millie; Auntie dear, turn the sailor-man off 
from this marriage — a little aside. 

Mrs. M'G. Whirligig ! do your own turning ! 

Millie. Only a little while ago, you tried to turn me from the idea 
of marriage. 

Mrs. M'G. I— I interfere ! 

Millie. Not warmly — but, truth to say, you didn't like the idea 
of my taking Mr. Suit ? 

Mrs. M'G. I — Miss Impertinence ? what is Mr. Suit to me ? 

Millie. Do be calm, auntie ! 

Mrs. M'G. And now you tell me to keep my temper, like Willie ! 
you have made this up between you ! Do you want to wait till all 
the other gentlemen have proposed to you ? 

Millie. One is enough torment, thank you ! 

Mrs. M'G. Which one ? 

Millie. Oh, here he comes ! (runs about, then at l. 2 e.) I fly ! 

Mrs. M'G. You love him ? 

Millie (blows a kiss). I love — my dearest auntie. 

[Exit, r. 2 e. — lights down gradually. 

Mrs. M'G. A madcap and that mad captain will be very well 
matched. How dare they joke me about the lawyer ? 

Enter Robbins, r. u. e. 

Rob. Is my time up ? my heart is— in my mouth. Is she kind 

Mrs. M'G. Yes, she kind o' refuses ! 

Rob. (delighted ). I told you so ! no chance without the spark ! 

Mrs. M'G. (aside). But she shan't have the lawyer ! to tease that 
honest gentleman out of his life ! (aloud ) have you ruminated your 
scheme ? 

Rob. Going to help me ? bravo ! So you told her I loved her and 
meant to splice, and that I was awaiting your report ? 

Mrs. M'G. She'll guess that. 

Rob . Give me your hand then ! (takes her hand on his arm. Lights 
to ha 1 f turn.) 

Mrs. M'G. What are you after ? 

Rob. Merely a stroll. 

Mrs. M'G. You are fond of strollers! Thank you, but it's getting 
dark. .__.,. — 



SPARKING. 17 

Rob . But robbers don't come out in the grounds I 

Mrs. M'G. Toads and bats do I your plan, sir, here ! 

Rob. We've bc. j gun, operations. Hush! look yonder — the shadow 
under the birch — that's her ! I was sure she'd hover round, and 
listen ! Daughter of Eve — eave's droppers ! (dark stage) Come — sit 
we upon this bench — nearest her — she's been to see Jessica and 
Lorenzo ! and let her hear the catch words ! 

Mrs. M'G. What words ? 

Rob. Reproach me for marrying — and I'll excuse myself for for- 
getiing you. In five minutes we'll fill her with jealousy, and thence 
will fly the spa' k I 

Mrs. M'G. Keep off, sir ! What nonsense ! 

Rob. Only two minutes, {loudly) And don't you wish me to 
marry ? 

Mrs. M'G. Never ! (aside to him) Is she still there ? 

Rob. (aside to Iter). The shadow ? A snade nearer, (aloud) The years 
are long since we first met. 

Mrs. M'G. (aside to him). Must I answer in scraps of old ballads, 
too ? 

Rob. (aside to he?'). In anything ! 

Mrs. M'G. Wnat shall I say ? 

Rob. Any tiling — Dear W^illie, I adore you — I more than ever— all 
that sort of thing. Fire away ! 

Mrs. M'G. (loudly but without feeling). My dearest nephew ! 

Rob. Not like thaf. Passionately ! 

Mrs. M'G. But it is new to me ! 

Rob. It's new to Millie, but she would say, "My darling Willie" 
ever so sweetly ! 

Mrs. M'G. Call her then ! 

Rob. No, no ! Go on ! Try it now ! 

Mrs. M'G. Dear Will, I have never ceased to love — (aside to him) 
Don't take my hand ! 

Rob. You promised to lend me a hand I 

Mrs. M'G. But the can't see — she can only hear ! 

Rob. (loudly). Can it be that you love me still ? 

Mrs. M'G. (loudly but measuredly). Certainly ! 

Rob. (aside to her). What a tone — like a lawyer ! "The case we 
have to lay before the jury" — Oh, do put a little flame in it ! 

Mrs. M'G. To fire the torpedo ! I throw up my part 1 

Rob. You haveu't a spark of the spark ! {seizes her hand.) 

Mrs. M'G. And you are too much of the spark. Don't touch me! 

Rob. I can't touch you ! Remember you were my first love — that 
you have married another, and are going to marry another. An- 
other ! and I propose to another — quite another ! 

Mrs. M'G. (feelingly). And, pray, why should my marriage require 
your good leave ? 

Rob. (aside to her). That's the talk ! (aloud) Because your indiffer- 
ence wearied my love, (aside) And so it did. 

Mrs. M'G. Your young love was a bore ! (aside) And so it was. 
(aloud) And you are a pretty man to talk of real love — you who 
plunge head-and-ears into frenzy for the first operatic screamer — 
vey lar from the first in merit— whom jou hear — the French card- 
player ■ 

Rob. (frightened) Stop, stop, stop that ! 

Mrs. M'G. How dare you make up to that dear little Millie — 
guileless, pleasing and pure ! — you who bob up and down like a cork 



18 SPARKING. 

on the waves— like a— pooh ! pooh ! you can't be in earnest. Even 
she sees that for herself ! 

Rob. {furiously). Not in earnest ! She knows I am. Because you 
always see me whistling, singing, and dancing, you think I am a 
skipper but to skip ! (new moon rises, lights gradually up) The liveliest 
man that ever laughed has his idol in its shrine— some woman who 
drinks up every drop of sweetness in his proffered cup of faith ! 
You were my saint — that sainl ! but you were too grand, too lovely, 
too rich, and I sailed away. And now that I would set up another 
idol— something to rill the void— dash me if vou don't dash that 
aside. 

Mrs. M'G. Romantic boy, surely you say this for a joke ! 

Rob. Ye*, a joke that makes me laugh ! 

Mus. M'G- {feeling a tear on Iter hand from Ms eyes). A tear ! you 
laugh till you cry. Then cry no more, (rises, goes up quickly.) 

Rob. What do you mean ? 

Mrs. M'G. She shall love you ! she shall wed you ! Millie, here ! 
don't run away. 

Enter Millie, l. 1 e. 

Millie. Did you want me, auntie ? 

Rob. and Mrs. M'G. (turn round). Millie here ! 

Mrs. M'G. Who then was the listener ? ' 

Rob. {up a). A man ! {seizes a stick.) 

Millie, {laughs). Oh, don't ! it isn't a robber ; it's Mr. Suit come 
to ask auntie's hand ! Mr. Hartwell backs him up. And did his 
black shadow frighten my little pets so much ! don't tremble — I'll 
go answer him. 

Mrs. M'G. Not you, child ; I can speak for myself. 

Rob. Yes, aunt, for you have the spark ! 

[Exit Mrs. M'G., r. u. e. 
Don't you go, Millie. 

Millie. Why not ? 

Rob. Two's company and 

Millie. Oh ! But you are right ; I would rather she left us alone. 

Rob. The spark ! {laughs) But what's the ail, cherry lips ? you've 
been crying ! 

Millie. Crying, indeed ! 

Rob. For the moon ? there she is. 

Millie. Not a she ! 

Rob. The man in the moon ? 

Millie. In my heart ! 

Rob. Oh, you can have him ! {takes her in his arms) with all my 
heart. 

Millie. Oh, I am so happy ! W T hat shall I do ? 

Rob. You'll get used to it ! 

Millie {abruptly). How did you know I loved you ? 

Rob By the spark — in your eye ! by your blush ! On the straight 
flush I've made my pile. 

Enter Mrs. M'Granite, r. u. e. 

Mrs. M'G. The silly man's fled ! 

Rob. Never fear, aunt, to lose him ; the wire is down, and you 
can explode your torpedo at any distance. 
Mrs. M'G. And how did you win her ? by the poetry ? 



SPARKING. 19 

Rob. Cy Ler goodness. Bah ! for the poetry, (brings Millie doicn 
c.) On this fair eve I view the lake 

Till now so placid, all discover ! 

With graceful hands her snowy 

Millie (interrupting). 

Wi*h grateful hands, her joyful heart 

The lily tenders to her lover ! (soft music) 

CURTAIN. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 



R. mean3«Cight of stage, facing the Audience ; L. Lef t ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in Flat, or Scene running across 
the back of the stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right door in 
the Flat ; L. D. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door ; 
1 E. First entrance ; 2 E, Second entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance; 1, 2 or 3 G. 
First Second or Third Grooves. 

R. R. C. C. L. C. L. 

$?W The reader is supposed to be upon the stage, facing the audience. 



T3E WITT'S 

ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA. 



" Let those laugh now who never laughed before, 
And those who always laughed now laugh the more." 

JST-jthing so thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Drama- 
ff&f e-ver been printed as those that appear in the following list. Not only are tlw 
&:o~.» excellent, the characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, 
[bat a*; the situations, by-play, positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks 
' are se plainly set down and clearly explained, that the merest novice could put 
any of tnem on the stage. Included in this catalogue are all the most laughable 
and elective pieces of their class ever produced. 

#** In ordering, please copy the figures at the commencement of each play, 
which indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's Ethiopian and Comic 
Drama." 

pW~ Any of the following plays sent, postage free, on receipt of pric~— 
J. 5 Cents Each. Address, 

CLINTON T. DE WITT, 

JVb. 33 Z2o.se Street, New York. 



The fi<nrres In the columns indicate the number of characters — M. tnale^ 



P. fe-nale. 



NO. M. F. 

73. African Box, burfesqne, 2 scene 5 

107. A+'ricanus Bluebeard, musical 

Ethiopian burlesque 6 2 

43. Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scene 7 1 
79. Barney's Courtsbip, musical 

inteihide, 1 act 1 1 

42. Bad WMskey, sketch. 1 scene. 2 1 
(3. Black Cnap horn Whitechaptd, 

negro p'ece 4 

10. Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene 3 

11. Black-ey'd William, sketch, 2 

scenes 4 1 

40. Big Mistake, sketch, 1 scene.. 4 

78. Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 
89- Bogus Talking Machines (The) 

farce, 1 scene 4 

24. Bruised and Cured, sketch. 1 

scene 2 

108. Charge of the Hash Brigade, 

Irish musical sketch 2 2 

35. Coal Heaver's Revenge, negro 

sketch, 1 scene 6 

,41. Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes... 8 1 

; 12. Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene 3 
53. Damon and Pythias, burlesque, 

2 scenes 5 1 

63. Darkey's Stratagem, 1 act ... 3 1 

110. De Black Magician, Ethiopian 

comicalitv, 1 scene — .4 2 

111. Deeds of Darkness. Ethiopian 

extravaganza. 1 act 6 1 

50. Draft (The), sketch, 1 act 6 

64 Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene... 4 1 



No. 
95. 
67. 
4. 
98. 
52. 
25. 



106. 

83. 

77. 

17. 
58. 

31. 

•J.i. 
82. 

86. 

7.*. 
61. 
23. 

3. 
48. 
68. 

71. 
33. 

91. 



M. T. 

Dutch Justice, sketch, 1 enetie 11 

Editor's Troubles, farce, 1 fee. 6 

Eh ? What is It ? sketch 4 1 

Elopement (The), farce, 1 scene 4 1 
Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene. 10 1 
FeliOW that Looks Like Me, in- 
terlude, 1 scene 2 i 

Fisherman's Luck, 1 scene.... 2 
First Night (The), Dutch farce, 

1 act 4 9 

Gambrinus, King of Lager 
Beer, Ethiopian buriesqu- 2 

scenes 8 1 

German Emigrant (The), sketch 

1 scene 2 g 

Getting Square on the Call Boy, 

sketch, 1 scene 3 

Ghost (The), sketch, 1 act 2 

Ghost in a Pawnshop. 1 scene. 4 Q 

Glycerine Oil, sketch 3 fl 

Going for the Cup, interlude.. 4 (1 

Good Night's Rest, 1 scene. ..3 

Gripsack, sketch. 1 scene 3 

Guide to the Stage, sketch ... 3 C 

Happy Couple. 1 scene 2 1 

Hard Times, extravaganza, 1 

scene 5 1 

Hemmed In, sketch 3 1 

High Jack, the Heeler, 1 seen*; 6 

Hippotheatron. sketch 9 

In and Out, sketch. 1 scene... 2 

Jealous Husband, sketch 2 1 

Julius, the Snoozer, 3 eoenes , 7 I 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS (Continued). 



No. 
144. 
34. 

137. 
111. 
119. 
165. 

48. 

32. 
164. 
109. 

85. 

87. 
143. 
189. 
163. 
154. 



15. 

46. 

51. 
184. 
108. 
188. 
169. 
130. 

92. 



140. 

115. 
2. 

57. 
104. 
112. 
185. 

84. 
117. 

171. 
14. 

m. 

176. 

90. 
170. 

33. 
3. 

97. 



172. 
94. 

45. 
155. 

178. 



I 147. 
i 156. 
1 82. 

23, 



m. r. 
Lancashire Lass, melodrama, 5 acts. 12 3 
Larkins' Love Letters, farce, 1 act . . 3 2 

L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 

Liar (The), comedy, 2 acts 7 2 

Life Chase, drama, 5 acts 14 5 

Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act. ... 3 2 
Little Annie's Birthday, farce, 1 act. 2 4 

Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 3 

Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts 6 

Locked In, comedietta, 1 act 2 

Locked In with a Lady, sketch, 1 act. 1 

Locked Out, comic scene 1 

Lodgers and Dodgers, farce, 1 act.. 4 
Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act. . . 1 

Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 

Maria and Magdalena, play, 4 acts . 8 
Marriage at Any Price, farce, 1 act. 5 
Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act. 4 

Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts. . 5 

Midnight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 

Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 

Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 

Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

Money, comedy, 5 acts 17 

Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 

Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 

My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 

My Wife's Diary, farce, 1 act. , 3 

My Wife's Out, farce, 1 act 2 

My Walking Photograph, musical 

duality, 1 act 1 

Never Reckon Your Chickens, etc., 

farce, 1 act 3 

New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 

Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 8 

Noemie, drama, 2 acts 4 

No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 

Not a Bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 

Not So Bad as We Seem, play, 5 acts. 14 

Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks, drama, 

3 acts 5 

Nothing Like Paste, farce, 1 act 3 

No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts and 

prologue 13 

Off the Stage, comedietta, 1 act 3 

On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act. . . 1 

Only a Halfpenny, farce, 1 act 2 

Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 

One too Many for Him, farce, 1 act. 2 

£100,000, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act. 3 
Orange Girl, drama, in prologue 

and 3 acts 18 

Ours, comedy, 3 acts 6 

Our Clerks, farce, 1 act 7 

Our Domestics, comedy farce, 2 acts 6 6 
Our Heroes, military play, 5 acts. . .24 5 
Out at Sea, drama in prologue and 

4 acts 16 5 

Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts. . ..11 5 

Peace at Any Price, farce, 1 act 1 1 

Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

Peggy Green, farce, 1 act 3 10 

Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, 

in one act 15 24 

Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 

A COMPLETE 



No. x. T. 

61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts 7 2 

138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesque, 1 

act 10 3 

110. Poppleton's Predicaments, farce, 13 6 

50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 

59. Post Boy, drama, 2 acts 5 3 

95. Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce, 1 act.. 3 10 

181 and 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 acts.38 8 

157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. . . 5 2 
196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic op 

eretta, 1 act 1 1 

132. Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 

183. Richelieu, play, 5 acts 16 2 

38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 

77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts. ... 8 4 
13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

194. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 

195. Rosemi Shell, travesty, 1 act, 4 

scenes 6 

158. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 

79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, 1 7 

37. Silent Protector, farce, 1 act 3 

35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 

43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act.. 7 
6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act. 2 

10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . 1 

26. Society, comedy, 3 acts 16 

78. Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 7 
31. Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act 3 

150. Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act.. 1 
120. Tempest in a Teapot, comedy, 1 act. 2 
146. There's no Smoke Without Fire, 

comedietta, 1 act 1 

83. Thrice Married, personation piece, 

lact 6 

42. Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts. . 7 

27. Time and Tide, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue 7 

133. Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act. 4 
153. 'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 

farce, 1 act 2 

134. Tompkins the Troubadour, farce, 1 3 
29. Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act 5 

168. Tweedie's Rights, comedy, 2 acts.. 4 

126. Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 

56. Two Gay Deceivers, farce, 1 act 3 

123. Two Polts, farce, 1 act 4 

198. Twin Sisters (The), comic operetta, 

1 act 3 

162. Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 

106. Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act. 6 
81. Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 

124. Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 

91. Walpole, comedy, 3 acts 7 

118. Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 3 

44. War to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts. ..54 
105. Which of the Two? comedietta, lact 2 10 

98. Who is Who? farce, 1 act 3 2 

12. Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 

5. William Tell with a Vengeance, 

burlesque 

136. Woman in Red, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue 6 

161. Woman's Vows and Mason's Oaths, 

4 acts 10 4 

11. Woodcock's Little Game, farce, 2 4 4 
54. Young Collegian (Cantab.), farce, 13 3 

DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE 



8 2 



of DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S 
ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS* containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, 



Time of Representation and every other information, mailed free and post paid 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Aii Mispsalle Book L™ 




793 012 6 



HOW TO MANAGE 
AMATEtm THEATRICALa 



Being plain instructions for construction and arrangement of Stage, 
making Scenery, getting up Costumes, "Making Up" to represent 
different ages and characters, and how to produce stage Illusions and 
Effects. Also hints for the management of Amateur Dramatic Clubs, 
and a list of pieces suitable for Drawing Room Performances. Hand- 
somely illustrated with Colored Plates. 

Price, 25 Cents. 



DE WITT'S SELECTIONS 



FOR 



Nos. 1 and 2. 

Being choice selections from the very best Dramas, Comedies and 
Farces. Specially adapted for presentation by Amateurs, and for 
Parlor and Drawing Room Entertainments. 

Price, 25 Cents. 
Other Numbers of this Series, will tyo** follow. 



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